26. Have a Semi-Charmed Life

Presenting the Three Most American Situations I Have Encountered in Paris

There are so many Americans in Paris, and while many of them congregate in packs, it's rare to see them en masse. There are restaurants, stores, and churches where many of them gather, but occasionally, I will find myself in a situation where I am swarmed by Americans. It's neither good nor bad — just odd.

Nothing has forced me to assimilate more to Paris than having kids here and enrolling them in the French public school system. I will go weeks without seeing an American, so when I am suddenly engulfed by a large group of loud, AC-loving Americans, it always stands out in my memory.

The Three Most American Situations I Have Encountered in Paris

1. In October 2019, I received a Google calendar invite from Dustin that simply said: "Third Eye Blind concert." They were playing a small venue in the 10th that usually hosts drag shows, so I'm sure the employees were taken aback to see a crowd of American men in their forties in comfortable shoes, accompanied by their kind wives. I'm used to seeing crowds of American tourists, but this crowd seemed to be mostly American geriatric millennials who still remember when the band was playing Madison Square Garden.

I had forgotten that Third Eye Blind actually have a fair share of depressing bangers. They played "Semi Charmed Life" twice, of course, and both times, I heard nary a French accent scream-singing along. We were home by 10:30pm, and funnily enough, that was the last concert I attended. COVID hit, and I spent much of confinement thinking, Did I really spend one of my final moments of pre-pandemic freedom at a Third Eye Blind concert?

2. I've been to Disneyland Paris twice. First, without a kid, on a rainy day, when the lines were nonexistent, and we were done with the entire park by noon. The second time, with a kid, who was genuinely in awe of It's a Small World. The Americans I encountered at the park tend to be disappointed. Compared to Florida or California, Paris is the rather inferior European stepchild of the Disney theme park family.