25. Take the Stairs

It's always easier to take the bus when you have a stroller, but often, the metro is unavoidable. That means stairs. So many stairs. More stairs than an Escher lithograph.

With motherhood, I've given up on a lot of things. (Looking halfway decent, uninterrupted sleep, a body that doesn't constantly ache -- just to name a few.) But the one thing I refuse to give up: the metro.

Taking a stroller on the metro is the equivalent of Sam hoisting Frodo on his back as he treks up Mount Doom. But also add a toddler who has to walk alongside the stroller -- so I guess that makes us Sam, Frodo, and a screaming, angry Gollum/Smeagol.

It's always easier to take the bus, but often, the metro is unavoidable. That means stairs. So many stairs. More stairs than an Escher lithograph. Even before I had kids, I believed you should always help someone carry a stroller up or down the stairs. It's just common decency.

But now that I have kids, I have a system. I know the exact angle to carry the stroller and the exact pace to take so that I can also keep an eye on my toddler while she takes the stairs next to us. It's not a smooth system, and often, we look like a caravan of rats trying to escape a sinking ship, but I've got it down to a science.

But nice people offer to help me. I know they are doing the Right Thing™ but also, like I said, I have a system. Sometimes it takes longer when someone helps me because they are not accustomed to wielding a clunky heap of metal and plastic up slippery stairs, while a toddler stumbles along next to them, shrieking. Plus they are usually taken aback by how heavy the stroller is -- we travel with a shitload of snacks.

Again, I always accept the help and thank the person profusely, but it's usually faster if I do it myself. The only solution is for RATP to install functioning elevators in every station, but the chance of that ever happening is about the same as hobbits making it up Mount Doom.