24. Take the Elevator

Drugs are cool — but have you ever tried been trapped in a tiny elevator with two hysterical babies?

Elevators here are essentially just roomy coffins. Most of them are only meant to hold two people, and even then, you'll probably still be spooning. Despite this, I have managed to fit a clunky stroller and two small children in these elevators with me. I don't do this gracefully, but I still do it — because Paris goes out of its way to be as stroller and wheelchair-unfriendly as possible.

The first time I got stuck in an elevator here, my then-2 year old was in the stroller, while my then-newborn was strapped to my chest. When I realized the doors were stuck, my panic must have been so palpable because the newborn started screaming. This prompted the toddler to do the same. Never have I been in more of a literal metaphor for early motherhood than when I was trapped in a matchbox-sized elevator with two shrieking babies, while trying to yell at the elevator repair hotline in French.

We eventually got out because in the midst of the pandemonium, I decided, I can't die like this. And I summoned my mom-strength and pried the doors open with my bare hands, shrieking baby still hanging from me. I didn't have any time to admire my Hulk-like strength in that moment because we all tumbled out, desperate for fresh air and snacks.

The second time we all got stuck in an elevator happened approximately a year later in a new building.