In Paris, the equivalent to a doorman is the gardien/gardienne. In the first building we lived in, Dustin let Christmas pass by without giving the gardien a gift (IE: envelope of cash). As a result, he never received any mail for three months. This was only remedied when he slipped a belated cash gift to him, bearing the excuse of being an ignorant American.
This time around, we want to make sure we do right by our gardien. He lives on the ground floor, knows everyone's names, and is constantly sweeping. Plus it's pretty easy to see that of all the building's tenants, we are the most annoying. We fit a lot of the criteria of a bad neighbor:
Loud sounds at all times of the day, courtesy of a toddler who loves to stomp and a baby who expresses himself by throwing shit.
Tying up the elevator due to our big ass stroller and how long it takes us to get out the door.
Near-constant screaming and crying, again at all hours of the day.
Often causing public disturbances in the common areas, again courtesy of a toddler who throws tantrums whenever she feels that she is being slighted. (She has a very hard life.)
So it's a no-brainer that we have to atone by dropping off a wad of cash to the gardien. My French teacher said we should also throw in a nice bottle of wine or a candle, but I think the best gift we can give the building is a quiet, calm holiday.
But on top of being the most annoying tenants, we are also the poorest. That means we are one of the few families staying in Paris this week — which means we can let loose with our bad behavior without bothering anyone. Or: we can do at least 100 euros worth of bad behavior.