22. Push the Panic Button

When there is a sick baby in the room, no one really has much patience for jacked up grammar and an unintelligible accent.

Never do I hate my level of French more than when one of the kids are sick. Like now: for some it's the holiday season, but for us, yet again, it's RSV season. 

We chose our previous apartment partly due to its proximity to the children's hospital, where I was going to give birth at the time. Three years later, we still live in the neighborhood because we are pretty much regulars at the hospital, like Usher in the strip club with his Usher bucks. (Except we don't need to make it rain here thanks to universal healthcare.)

My French gets worse the more I panic. (See: gas leak) Also, when there is a sick baby in the room, no one really has much patience for jacked up grammar and an unintelligible accent.

In order to tell you about a particular French mistake of mine, I will also have to tell you about the time I was a Bad Mom™. If you would like to chastise me, feel free to send any comments here.

Anyway, last year in the hospital, I was trying to put a bottle together and forgot to put the bars up on the crib. During the split second I turned around, the baby fell out. I was so terrified, I pushed the Panic Button. This is the button you're only supposed to press if there is something wrong on a nuclear level. The moment I pressed it, a swarm of doctors and nurses immediately barged in asking, "Qu'est que c'est passé???"