2. Avoid the Beach

I never liked the beach and spent most of my adulthood so far avoiding it. But when I had kids, I thought, “I should probably give them some material for happy childhood memories, so when they unlock these memories years later in therapy, they’ll acknowledge that I indeed put in some effort as a mother.”

We’ve been to the beach three times: Honfleur, Saint-Malo, and Deauville. I found these places through the batshit crazy expat mom Facebook group by using the following search terms:

• less than 2 hours train ride from Paris

• baby-friendly

• cheap

They were fine trips, but none of them changed my opinion about the beach. But at the very least, it finally gave me something to say when my French coworkers, neighbors, and assorted randos asked me about my summer plans.

In the past, when I gave responses like, “Nothing, we’re staying in Paris because I’m 9 months pregnant” or “No plans. We’re saving money and vacation days to go to the US in the Fall” they would look at me like I had just casually admitted to cannibalism.